Concrete Rose

I've been paying attention to the smaller details lately. And I've noticed a growth in myself in the past few months... Some have been stressful growths, some have been exciting growths, and others have been painful both emotionally and physically... But ALL of them have been important and vital to my existence. I've been working, A LOT! And in working so much, I've had a little bit of time to myself. Time to look inward and reflect on the things about myself that love and hate. In short, I have been changing for better, or for worse. And no matter what the outcome has been, I have been completely happy, (not content, not satisfied, not ok, not fine, but happy) with myself. Elated even. With that being said, there are people in my life that I feel I am growing in a different direction from. It is not to say that they aren't amazing people or that they aren't progressing in their own individual lives but that our life paths don't necessarily match up right now. For instance, a very close friend of mine and I haven't spoken in some time. I know she's upset with me, but for a few reasons I genuinely don't feel like I need to mend this friendship (right now anyway). I think we have been growing apart for some time, and our visions of our futures just don't fit in with each other. But while I'm slightly saddened by this notion, I'm not at all angry nor do I feel moved to fight this parting of people. The same is true for another friend of mine, whom I feel has been slightly stagnant for some time. While this is none of my business to get into, I feel that a part of me is allowing myself to be stagnant just to save the friendship as we know it. But I am rapidly approaching a point in my life where I realize, some ships are meant to sink, and Friendships aren't exempt from that rule. A long time ago, someone told me that people come into your life for reasons and seasons. Some seasons are long, and some reasons are forever unknown, but others come to the light and run their course. I honestly don't know about some of the people in my life, but I've come to have such a deep understanding of self and profound self-love that I genuinely cannot contribute to the negativity or stagnation in my own hemisphere. I have decided to take full control of the ship I'm on. Its a relationSHIP to my inner self, and I can't abandon that ship. I can't let that ship sink. I've finally learned how to be the captain, crew, and passenger of my own ship. In due time, I will find a place/person to dock my ship, and allow NEW guests to share my life with.